This evening produced an 'aha' moment.  

A month ago I was fortunate enough to be treated to a night at the opera by said Peer of the Realm.  A few years ago, 'La Boheme' would be guaranteed to reduce me to a pool of mascara coloured tears.  On this occasion however, there was nothing. Nada.  Zilch.  I was utterly convinced that my heart had died and shriveled beyond any hope, something that since has troubled me deeply.  Had I really become such a hardened, cynical bitch?  Was I ever to be capable of feeling any emotion again?

And yet, this evening, listening to the orchestra of a well-known music college, I found my eyes flooding with tears as my creaky old heart started to find the resin it needed to rejeuvinate those ancient strings.  The passion with which they played, the potential their youth represents

and the mellifluous sound they created left me both stemming tears and restraining pure giggles of joy simultaneously.  

These simply cannot be the manifestations of a defunct organ.  I dare to hope that they are the start of a re-awakening of my ability to seek joy.  To find pleasure in everyday life.  To be an attractive woman.  To get down and dirty.  But, most importantly, to be happy.

The ultimate 'aha' was that the world is full of possibilities. If only we are brave enough to recognise and take them.

Wish me luck.