Extermination; Eradication; Elimination

There are certain elements of one's life and personality that is is constructive to eradicate.  Picking one's nose in public (not that I have ever done this I hasten to add), the wearing of flat, comfortable shoes (ditto), and, in my case, the automatic impulse to expel any calories from my body in the event that I feel I have over indulged.

I won't go into details as it can be distressing for author and reader alike, suffice to say, I am physically unable to make myself vomit and so rely on a vaguely effective potion of natural remedies (I am no longer able to ingest laxatives given years of abuse), fruit juice, red wine and anything else that comes to hand. Sadly no longer the beloved cigarettes that I currently crave.

I would give anything at this moment to remove the past few hours - yet I know what underlies this current uncertainty.  Being noticed by the opposite sex.  Feeling attractive for the first time in years - and scared by that.  And so fat that I resemble a small beached whale.

But most importantly, I imagine, is to learn to say - "yes I have drunk too much wine, nibbled too much chocolate etc but I'm still gorgeous".

Softly, softly, catch the monkey.