In 2008 my goal was to buy my very own flat - tick.
In 2009 my goal is to have a relationship. Or to have sex - the two are not necessarily linked. The former is an option, the latter is an absolute, a necessity.
The overriding problem of course is where to meet single men without too many hang-ups, baggage and children - a conundrum I have yet to solve and one which is more complicated than would appear at first glance.
Friday night saw me on date number two with Cute Guy (see a previous post). I had shaved all necessary body parts, curled my hair, painted my lashes (thank goodness I got those in the right order), agonised over how to be warm in these minus 0 conditions without looking like the Michelin Man, only to find that I could have turned up in my sweaty gym kit and a foul temper. Cute Guy gave not one indication that he was interested and there are some things that one simply cannot force and nor should one even attempt to.
It is plain to see that he is very happy with his lot. He has his friends, his holidays are planned, he is wedded to his work (and no, I am never heading back to that territory - even I can learn from one divorce) and I get the definite impression that he is very happy with his lot. And good for him. It may be that he does have time for a relationship, just not with me, but that is OK. I refuse to let my 2009 aim fall at the first hurdle and so I shall continue to remind myself to have my eyes and mind open to possibilities.
Just as the sun emerged and thawed the icy ground today for the first time in over a week, so too has it stirred an optimism within me and has banished any black thoughts of being unattractive, on-the-shelf etc.
2008 = first flat of my own
2009 = sex (relationship) not on my own
Now that's what I call a New Year's Resolution!
